How to Talk About Yourself in an Interview Without Bragging
I’ve had a couple of conversations with colleagues about how to present themselves well without bragging, especially in the context of an interview. But, whether you are in an interview, pitching your services, or asking for a raise, you have got to be able to sell, either your products or services, potential, or skills, to achieve your desired outcome.
But not all of us feel good about talking ourselves up because we are scared that we will sound like we are bragging, and bragging does not look good!
The thing is this: If you are worried about sounding like you are bragging, chances are you are not bragging.
People who brag think that they are “the best” or “one of a kind” without actual evidence. They brag as a way to hide insecurities that they may or may not be aware of.
So, if you do not think that you are “the best” or “one of a kind” for no good reason, congratulations! You will not be bragging when you talk yourself up!
However, there is likely something else going on that is preventing you from feeling comfortable with putting your best foot forward.
Below are a couple of nuggets to shift how you think that may help you feel more comfortable talking about yourself.
1. Check your thoughts
Thoughts are incredibly powerful. Thoughts shape how we perceive and react to the world. Think about it. What you see is made up of thoughts from your visual cortex. You either like someone or not based on what you think you know about them. When your body fills with adrenaline, it is up to your thoughts to decide if you will feel excited or nervous.
In a single day, our mind has over 6,000 thoughts, most of which are unconscious, some of which are sabotaging us, and all of which we believe thanks to a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (aka RAS). The RAS is the part of your brain that makes you believe in your own thoughts.
Sometimes we don’t like talking about ourselves because of a concept called a self-limiting belief. A self-limiting belief is a thought that we assume to be true about ourselves or the world around us that is limiting our potential or capability to succeed - in this case, talking ourselves up. Examples of self-limiting beliefs are:
I am not smart enough, strong enough, qualified enough, experienced enough, beautiful enough, or simply good enough to succeed.
I am not worthy of success.
I do not deserve success.
Who am I to accomplish this goal?
I don’t have enough time, resources, support, or money.
There are not enough opportunities (e.g. job openings, clients, or customers) out there to succeed.
If any of these rang a bell or had you nodding, that’s a good indication that you have a self-limiting belief at play. The good news is that now that you are aware of it, you can (a) gain some insight from it and (b) address it. Ask yourself: What is this belief trying to tell me about my perceptions of myself or the world? Is this thought real or imaginary? What would happen if I decided to stop believing in this thought right now and instead believe the exact opposite? Be curious and if any answer surprises you, I’d encourage you to go down the rabbit hole!
2. Bragging vs confidence
People often get confused between bragging and confidence.
As we have talked about, bragging is rooted in hidden insecurity.
Confidence is rooted in self-awareness and possibility. Confidence is about understanding what is possible for you, believing that you can be successful, and understanding what you do bring to the table to justify your potential.
Notice how I’m not saying anything about guaranteeing success. Nothing in life is guaranteed (maybe the money-back guarantee at the mattress store is an exception). But, you don’t need to guarantee success in order to be confident in yourself. To be confident, you just have to be aware of your own potential for success.
3. Share objective achievements
Now for a tip that is a little more tangible!
To avoid sounding like you are bragging, provide some objective evidence with tangible, measurable achievements to back up your claim.
The idea is that you want to make your claim as objectively believable as possible to whoever is listening. To make it believable, share the details and specifics of your accomplishments and exactly how those translate to supporting your claim.
For example, if you are telling an interviewer that you have excellent communication skills, tell them about a time when you kept an audience of 50 employees engaged during a not-so-exciting-but-mandatory training. If you are claiming that your app will encourage customers to eat healthier, open the app, show them all the various features, and share stories of how current customers have gained value from the app. If you believe that you are ready for that promotion, tell your supervisor about all your past actions and measurable accomplishments that meet the expectations of that next level job.
With more details come more measurable achievements, which makes your evidence more believable.
4. Be open about your areas for improvement
People who brag do not want to say that they are imperfect because that will open up their insecurities. But, we are all works in progress and there will always be room to grow and learn.
So, the last tip for not sounding like you are bragging is to share what you are working on.
Sharing what you are looking to improve in the future will show that you are both self-aware of your current weaknesses and acknowledging that you are working on yourself.
This also ties into the idea of making mistakes. When we are growing and learning, we will make mistakes. People who brag will not admit to making mistakes since they are “the best.” But sometimes we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes. So being open about mistakes and what we learn from them will not sound like bragging, and instead sound like you are self-aware and honest with yourself. And, you can take that a step further by acknowledging how you will avoid it next time.
Ready to talk about yourself? Tell me a bit about yourself in the comments.
