12 Lessons from 12 Months of Journaling in Quarantine
In the United States, it has been 1 year since the first lockdown.
Can you believe that??
How time flies!
Suffice it to say it has been the most interesting year of my life.
Along with the 1 year of quarantine anniversary is also my 1 year anniversary of journaling.
Ever since March of last year, I have been journaling every night before bed.
At first, I was just going through the motions, but something was calling me to write, so I kept at it.
Within a couple of weeks, I used journaling as a way to get all my tangled-up thoughts out of my head and onto a page, where I could begin to sort them out.
Over time, I not only used journaling to sort out my thoughts,
I also used journaling to help me see the bigger vision for my life and track my progress towards my goals.
Now, one year later, I am so proud of the progress I have made.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to acknowledge progress within the weeds of day to day life.
So for my 1 year anniversary, I took a trip down memory lane, read my journals (yes, I went back into those tangled thoughts!), and saw all the progress I’ve made and learned a ton!
And that is what I have written for you this month.
12 lessons from 12 months of singledom, business building, and incredible transformation.
March 2020 - The only person who could give me closure is me
Not only was the world going into lockdown in March 2020, but so was my personal world.
I was dumped from a 6-year relationship.
And here’s the kicker:
He was a great dumper.
He answered all my messages, my calls, my questions.
He did literally everything he could to help me get closure.
But nothing he said actually made me feel better
Because I still got dumped. And I still felt heartbroken.
The moment of true closure for me was when I decided that it was over and I decided to move on.
And almost like a lightswitch, I gave myself the closure and permission I needed to do so.
The lesson here is that there is truly nothing better than committing to a decision.
Once I decided it was over, that was the end of that last chapter and the beginning of the rest of my life.
Nothing felt better than a fresh start, and only I could give that to myself.
April 2020 - Repetitions stick
I spent a lot of time reasoning with myself about the past relationship.
At first, I only had a couple of reasons on why it was not meant to be.
Though, I don’t think I truly believed those reasons.
But, I kept telling myself the why it was good to end the relationship, how the next relationship will be better, and what I am worth.
This portion of my journals read like a broken record.
This month I learned that when it comes to changing a mindset or changing thought patterns, repetitions are key.
With each time that I reasoned, I moved on just a little bit more.
And my reasons evolved and different perspectives formed on the situation.
The more I repeated thoughts about moving on and knowing my worth, the more I believed in moving on and that I was worthy of a better relationship.
May 2020 - Rebuilding my support system
By now, it was obvious that the quarantine was going to last longer than the 2-3 weeks we all thought.
And I was lonely.
This month was all about reconnecting with old friends and rebuilding the friendships that withered away.
I connected with my college friends, colleagues at work, even high school friends!
Some conversations were surface-level catch-ups.
Others went below the surface, since we all had been experiencing the weirdest, most interesting months of our lives!
Slowly but surely, I didn’t feel so alone anymore.
June 2020 - Time to dabble
At this point, I was cruising at work and my close friendships were flourishing.
And yet, I had a feeling that something was missing.
Like I was not fulfilling some higher purpose.
So this is when I dived into the world of self-employment.
I always had an entrepreneurial spirit, I enjoyed the process of building something from the bottom up.
But I never found something that I felt so passionate about that it would be worth the time and money investment.
So June was the month of dabbling.
I explored and learned everything, including copywriting, resume writing, proofreading, coaching, brand ambassador-ing, and virtual volunteering.
It took a while to land on coaching (spoiler alert!).
But it was important to me to try new things while I was still employed and while I had the extra time to explore because I had security and felt abundant with possibilities.
July 2020 - Let the cry out
July was my ultimate trigger: the one year anniversary of getting engaged.
I cried. A lot.
I cried during the weekend. I cried at work (without video, of course). I cried getting french fries with my brother at In ‘N Out.
My family and friends did all that they could to comfort me or distract me.
But at the end of the day, I had to let the cry out.
Get it all out of my system until my tear ducts were dry and my eyes were too puffy.
See, until this point, I was mostly cruising behind diving into my day job, reconnecting with friends, and dabbling in new hobbies.
But I was still deeply hurt. And it was bound to come out eventually.
Once it all came out, I was a blank slate, at ground zero.
I had to tear myself down, go through the muck, so that I could begin to build myself back up again.
Which leads to August….
August 2020 - Clean room = clean mind
After letting everything out, I actually felt at peace. Like I could start to learn how to walk again.
But my room was reflecting my past self.
It. was. a. MESS!
I had clothes everywhere, bottles of old hairspray in the bathroom, old homework and receipts from college. Everything but the kitchen sink was littered all over my space.
That old space reflected my old headspace of confusion, grief, and worthlessness.
So August was the month of cleaning my room.
I formally set up my home office space, moved my bed for better feng shui, organized my closet, threw away my old products in the bathroom.
And over time, my room was as clean as my mind.
A clean room represented a fresh start, prioritizing myself and the lifestyle I want to live.
So the lesson here is to inspire a fresh start, clean up your space.
It will work wonders on your mindset, and might even be fun!
September 2020 - Let’s just go for it!
With my new mindset and clean room, now it was the time to dive in.
At this point, I had had my very first coaching sessions, and after those, something clicked.
I KNEW, without a doubt, that coaching was meant for me.
And I also knew that if I did not take action right away, then I would lose that spark.
So that’s exactly what I did.
September was the month of following that initial spark, diving in headfirst, and creating momentum.
I looked into coach training programs, hired my first coach, told my family and friends, even announced the news on Facebook.
See, a spark is just a blip of energy that if not acted upon, can disappear just as quickly as it appeared.
So if you have that spark about something in your life, act on it. NOW. Do not wait another second.
And see where that spark can take you!
October 2020 - We get in our own way sometimes
The momentum I built in September came to a halt in October.
Little things called fears started to arise.
Who am I to coach people?
What could I possibly help people with?
How do I not let people down?
Hello, imposter syndrome!
Imposter syndrome is when you feel out of place or like a fraud, even when those thoughts are just imaginary.
These thoughts crept in for me because I had never formally been a coach, even though I had mentored before and facilitated workshops and trainings in the past.
These thoughts also crept in because I had never built a business before. I had worked at start-ups, and I learned what I could from the entrepreneurs in my family. But I personally never started a business.
But here’s the thing: Just because I have never done these things before, doesn’t mean I cannot do it with the skills and experience I already possess.
So this month was all about recognizing the strengths that I do have that will support me in coaching and business building,
While also seeing the gaps in my knowledge and how I can fill those gaps.
November 2020 - Life is a blessing so might as well enjoy the ride
At this point, I had just started coach training, I am working with my own coach, and I have people cheering me on.
Not to mention that I felt content about the relationship stuff.
So I am doing all the things that I am supposed to do.
But ultimately, things that are worth having take time.
(Especially while working a day job!)
So at this point, I recognized that living this life is a blessing.
I have the time, energy, and resources to create a life that I want to live!
And I was not just sitting and dreaming, but I was taking the actions and making forward progress.
So November was about continuing on and appreciating the ride to make my dreams come true.
December 2020 - Gratitude for how far I have come
With the end of the year came a lot of reflecting back and realizing all that had happened in 2020, where I started, and where I ended up.
Here’s the gist of it:
I went from unhappy and brokenhearted to content with singledom.
I went from cruising in the day job to creating a business that excites me.
I went from feeling alone to connected to people who genuinely care about me.
All while mostly living with my parents and talking to people via Facebook messenger and Zoom.
Gratitude really is the cure to all negative emotions.
So often did I get caught up in the weeds of the day-to-day that I did not see how much progress I had made.
Gratitude gives permission to truly be happy with how far I had come and where I was in my life.
January 2021 - Care less
January was the time when things got real.
Work at my day job was picking up.
Coach training was also picking up.
But I only had so many hours in the day to complete all my work and do a good job.
And I wanted 2021 to be the best year yet!
So I felt a lot of stress between all the things I was doing.
Upon further reflection, I learned that I cared a LOT about making it all perfect.
Ah, perfectionism! My old friend.
I wanted to make sure that my deliverables at work were on point, even though I didn’t have all the information I needed.
I wanted to make sure that I was coaching people perfectly, which doesn’t really exist since each coach coaches differently.
But here’s the thing: The best things are never perfect. Just good enough to move to the next step.
So that’s what I did. I cared less about being perfect, and cared more about doing enough.
And everything else I delegated.
I asked my team members to peer review my work.
I asked my friends and family who had time to help with the admin side of the business.
Care enough to do a good job, but you do not need to care so much that it is literally paralyzing.
February 2021 - As long as I have my eye on the prize, I can trust that things will be good
I am a very determined person.
I don’t let obstacles or roadblocks get in the way of things that I really want.
But sometimes, I can put a lot of pressure on myself to move forward fast.
To already be at the finish line.
In this case, what I have been experiencing this last month, is that this added pressure is only inviting unneeded stress.
So for me, instead of adding the extra pressure to get to my destination,
I had to trust in myself, my resilience, my strength, my determination,
To get me to the finish line when I am meant to get there.
Because if this past year has taught me anything,
It is that I am one tough cookie who can get through anything, and who knows what I want.
So now, my journey is about trusting that as long as I have my eye on the prize, the prize will come to fruition, right when it was meant to.
Suffice it to say that this has been one crazy, incredible year full of ups and downs and lessons learned.
But if there is one thing that was held true for this whole year,
It is that these things take time.
It takes time to heal a broken heart.
It takes time to discover your passions.
And it takes time to build a business.
And I’m still working on all of these!
And that is OK.
What is important is to embrace the journey
Because at every turn, pitfall, and win, there is a little lesson waiting for you to discover it.
And with each lesson learned, we grow into the people we were meant to become.
